Interview #8: Ryan Abraham, Sidney Crosby super fan
In West Philadelphia born and raised... well not born but whatever
Background: Ryan Abraham was born in 1985 in Sacramento, CA. He moved to the San Diego area shortly after, and then to West Chester, PA at the age of 6. At 13, he moved to Phoenix, where he was lived for the past 25 years, now with his wife and young son. He remains a fan of all Philadelphia teams, plays hockey and softball when he can and loves to play the guitar.
We talked about why he got into hockey, battling an autoimmune disease and Dale Murphy.
Going from California to Philadelphia to AZ
“Living in Sacramento, I have a memory that I, and my mom reminds me of this all the time, and my dad, That she would look out in the backyard and I would be hitting the ball off a tee. I was probably four at the time. And I would run the bases, but then sometimes I would get to a base and stop and just walk back to home and she'd ask me what was going on. I was like, ‘Well, I got out.’ So, even in my fantasy I was not the best player.”
“Another early funny memory was, we moved to San Diego in ’89, the Carlsbad area, and my dad was in his office which faced the backyard and my mom was pitching to me and I hit a baseball that shattered the window.
My first memories of going to games were definitely in Carlsbad. We went to quite a few games at Jack Murphy (Stadium, the Padres park before Petco). I remember watching Benito Santiago and Tony Gwynn. But then also going up to a couple of games, seeing the Angels and even once, we saw the Dodgers, which of course my dad is not a fan of and I'm not a fan of. I cried for most of the game because I wanted a Dodger bear souvenir because I was that kid, that I had to get something everywhere I went. And of course, I never did. I thank my dad for that now.”
When did you start playing?
“I played for a long time. Well, I started as early as you can get into t-ball, so four or five years old, and I played… so ’89 moved to Carlsbad, ‘91 to a suburb of Philly, West Chester, and played there until we moved to Arizona in ‘98, so until I was about 13.”
So you were 6 when you moved to Philadelphia?
“Yeah, so 10 years of playing. I played on the All-Star team. At that time in the suburbs of Philly, youth fields that were lighted were very rare, but there were a couple that we got to play on during the All-Stars and that was always a treat to play under the lights as a kid. That always felt special, yeah.”
Well, you don't have a problem making friends. Did that help with moving, joining teams?
“You know what's funny is I did at the time have trouble making friends. I'd say my being outgoing is something that's newer, since college. So when I moved (to Arizona), that's part of why I stopped playing is because I went from knowing all the kids in the league, my dad coached me every year. I didn't know anyone, I assumed moving to Arizona everyone would be a lot better at baseball than me. And so I started playing more guitar and drums that I could sit in my room and do instead of being social.”
Were sports a big part of you and your dad’s relationship early on?
“I've been very, very lucky. I had parents who have supported me in every endeavor. He's not a musician, so it just didn't give us as much to do together. But he would still come, you know, I would play at my church youth group band and stuff like that. He would come to watch.
We text about sports all the time now and stuff. So we just weren't able to have, like, conversations about that kind of stuff. But still very supportive.”
So you didn’t do any organized sports?
“Nope. I had a long hiatus through 8th grade and high school, and I didn't pick back up until I started playing softball with my dad in 2004. That was something my dad and I always bonded over. Sports growing up because he always coached, whether basketball, soccer, baseball. When I quit that and I started doing music it kind of gave us a lot less to bond over. One of my best memories is the 18 years or so that we got to play softball and really got back into following sports early in college.”
Being a Fan
Going to the ‘93 World Series and the Vet
“I got to go to one of the games and I actually fell asleep at the game, it was cold and rainy. Veterans Stadium was not a great, enjoyable place to watch games. It was either very hot and humid, you would bring ice chests full of ice water and wash cloths. Or end of season, it was very cold and rainy. I love the Phillie Phanatic, of course. Greatest mascot in sports. I just remember being very hot and humid. That’s all I remember about it. I like Citizens Bank Park a lot better.”
“We did a Phillies camp once and got to go do drills on the field. Veterans Stadium had Astroturf that was like pavement with turf on it. I remember at the time, Lenny Dykstra, other players would complain because he would chew tobacco and then spit it in the outfield. My mom and one of our neighbors had a flag-making company and got to make a flag for John Kruk.”
Do you ever go back to Philadelphia?
“So going back to Philly, my best friend from when I first moved there passed away in 2020. Long, long story. But he was my biggest connection. I saw some friends there. So I would still go back, but he was usually my driving reason to go spend time back there and connect. I would love to take my wife and son, when he's older to go see Philadelphia and it's so quick to get up to New York and Boston or down to D.C.”
So Philly had a big impact on you?
“Yeah, formative years. But I mean I've been (in AZ) for 25 years and I still feel like that's where I grew up.”
I’m a terrible Flyers fan because I do enjoy watching Sidney Crosby.
Have you been to a lot of stadiums?
“Fenway, the old Vet, Citizens Bank, Camden. Obviously Chase (Field). I've been to Coors Field, but not for a baseball game. I went for the Red Wings-Avalanche game. Jack Murphy. Petco. Angels. Dodgers. I know I went to Candlestick, I don't remember it. And then I went to the new Giants. Wrigley.”
What did you think of Wrigley?
“My dad happened to have some work out there and the Phillies were playing the Cubs. We had some fun in the last 10 years traveling around to see either the Flyers or the Phillies.
We went to Camden when they were counting down Cal Ripken Jr’s record when they had all the the big banners on the the brick building.”
Baseball and Hockey
What do you like about playing baseball?
“I’ve never really thought about that. I think baseball is interesting. Every sport has its own unique aspects to it. If you’re the right fielder and the ball’s hit to left field like, there's really nothing you can do. You're trusting that your teammate is going to do what they need to. If you're on deck, you can't control what the guy at bat’s going to do. So there's an individual aspect of the game and a team aspect of the game I enjoy. Like I said, I like running and diving. So any opportunity there was to make the big play like any kid you know, watching ESPN growing up, make the SportsCenter Top 10. That's your that's your dream. We would play in championship games and lose and I'd be like, ‘Hey, can I go spend the night at so-and-so’s house?'. There was no crying, I was just having a good time out there. I definitely have a competitive side, but I think there's just the fun of the game, but I didn’t let it dictate my life.”
Why start hockey at 28 years old?
“Couple reasons. I knew I always wanted to play as a kid. And I had a buddy who was working in ticket sales for the (Anaheim) Ducks at the time. He just told me he's like, ‘Yeah, I started playing hockey because a bunch of the guys here play.’ And it just kind of like it was the right time, I was like, ‘Oh, man, if he's playing. I want to give it a try.’
I’m an over-researcher. I looked around the Valley, realized Oceanside had an adult rookie class (ARC). They said, ‘Yeah, we’ll loan you all the gear.’ I said, ‘No, I'm gonna go buy it ‘cause I know I'm gonna like it. Went to Behind the Mask, purchased all new gear and the day of my first ARC spent a few hours scouring YouTube for how to put the gear on. I had no idea what the process was. All I know is I stepped on the ice and everyone was shooting pucks at the goalie, so I picked up a puck and did probably the the main thing that everyone wants to do, which is take a slap shot. So I went and took the slap shot, completely fanned on the puck, and face planted, stood up and thought, ‘This is the most awesome thing I've ever done,’ and I was absolutely obsessed from that point forward. I joined the D-League there starting a couple weeks later. About a year into that, Kayman and I started the Roadrunners at Arcadia. And then started playing softball Monday night with my dad and then hockey Wednesday night in Scottsdale and Friday night in Chandler.”
“There's so many lessons from playing a team sport. You know working hard and supporting and encouraging and all that kind of stuff like apply to everything else you’ll do in the real world so. I think I've just always had kind of a cheerleader mentality. On the StrengthsFinder 2.0, ‘includer’ is one of my top traits. I hate people feeling left out. That's why, when I captain the hockey team, I will never kick someone off the team, even if they're a detriment to the team.”
Note: I highly doubt the team I captain would call me an ‘includer’. Actually I don’t think I want to know what words they’d use.
Illness and Recovery
So there was a while there when you didn’t go to games?
“Yeah. I mean, between the COVID-shutdown season and my health, you know, dealing with autoimmune GI issues, and the anxiety of using the restroom… going to a huge sporting event like that just wasn't enjoyable. There's too much anxiety being there and traffic, all that kind of stuff.”
A hiatus from playing
“I'd love to play softball again. My dad's not playing anymore. And hockey, I don't miss the late games. But when I'm actually out there, I really do miss it. There's just something about the locker room time beforehand, the exercise.”
I've had many staycations at Mayo Clinic.
So there was about 2-3 years where you were unable to play?
“When the rinks shut down for Covid, I didn’t get back on the ice for 2 years.
I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in 2014. It was an autoimmune condition of the GI, where your GI basically attacks itself, and I never could really get it under control with any level of drugs. Even what they call immunomodulators. Basically, chemotherapy-level drugs. And it got so bad in 2021 and 2022 that I landed in the hospital in September ‘22 and they decided, ‘We need to take your colon out’. And so I did that, ended up with an ostomy. October 7th of ‘22, had surgery, ended up with a bag attached to my stomach. I was a pretty good candidate to go through what’s called a j-pouch surgery. So then I had two more surgeries. One end of January ‘23 and then March of ‘23, where they reversed the ostomy and so… by the time that the surgery happened, I was, I was over dealing with it.
I knew it was going to improve my quality of life and it has substantially. Then the j-pouch surgery was just sort of icing on the cake that I didn't have this external apparatus and I was excited to jump back into playing hockey and getting back into the gym. Unfortunately, through early- to mid-2023, that’s where the back issues (emerged), which is all related. It's not uncommon for people who have had an autoimmune condition to have this type of arthritis in the lower back. But you know, if I can get that under control, I look forward to being able to play or go to gym or even just know that I can throw the ball with my kid or coach my kid.”
So when did you stop playing softball? Was it easier to play softball than hockey during that time?
“Actually, no. With my health issues… more anxiety with softball because, with ulcerative colitis, or UC, like when it hits, you gotta use the bathroom. It's like, ‘I gotta go now’. So if it's the middle of an inning, and I'm standing in the middle of center field, I can't just be like, ‘Hey, guys, I'm going to jump this fence. I need someone to take my place.’
So actually hockey was easier, ‘cause I could just leave the bench and go to the locker room. In the eight or nine years I played hockey with ulcerative colitis I can only think of once or twice that I felt a moment of panic having to use the restroom, whereas softball that happened fairly regularly. But I would have to, you know, skip my turn at bat and, you know, run to the restroom. I don't know if there's something about, when you're in this like trying to be intense sport that your mind, it's kind of the fight or flight thing. You're in that flight mode. There are certain systems in your body that just shut down. And so I don't know if that's part of it, but yeah, hockey was, I never felt that anxiety. Or I’d load up on Imodium.”
Dale Murphy
You said your dad grew up playing Dale Murphy? (2-time NL MVP for the Braves in the 80’s)
“We got to see Dale Murphy a couple of times. I think once or twice at Jack Murphy and then, when we were in Philly, he was on the Braves at that time, and so when he came to play, we would make sure we got there early enough that we could see him warm up. I think he lived in Northern California, moved down to the Bay Area (where he met Ryan’s dad), and then moved back around high school-ish. My grandpa would keep stats for all the game, so we've got stat books with Dale Murphy’s stats, all that kind of stuff. My dad was like, ‘Yeah, he's absolutely freak of an athlete.’”
Takeaways
I met Ryan when he joined my hockey team for a season about 10 years ago. He moved to a different team the next season, but we’d still play hockey or go to baseball games and talk sports in the time since. When I first met him I could see he was a good athlete, he was agile and athletic and dedicated in the gym. So when he got worn down by his digestive system problems and eventual diagnosis, I had no idea it was that serious because he never showed it.
I don’t think he realizes how impressive it is for him to get back to playing sports after those surgeries. Maybe he does, but a year ago he had no colon! And by late summer last year he was back playing (non-checking) hockey and back in the gym. Hopefully the back problems subside and he can keep playing going forward.
His biggest motivators are his faith, family and friends. Those people always seem more resilient and he does cherish that. In team sports, you always need someone like him. As he mentioned, he’s an “includer” on the personality test he took. It’s obvious, and they bring the introverts along, they get different personalities to work together, they make everyone feel welcome. Teams don’t function without people like that. (Don’t ask me what my personality traits are, I just hit ‘none of the above’ on those tests all the time).
More info on the j-pouch surgery: J-Pouch Surgery